The Golden Girls of the Tarot by Vix from New Age Hipster

WTF with the cup dude? Via Giphy

WTF with the cup dude? Via Giphy

When you first learn Tarot the court cards suck.

Working out what’s happening in the three of swords (three swords going through a heart? Yeah I get it) is pretty simples. Working out WTF a chick sitting on a chair holding a cup means when you asked “why didn’t that guy text me back” is a little bit more of a challenge.

But never fear gorgeous souls, New Age Hipster Pop Culture Tarot is here to save you from reading through a gazillion Tarot books and memorising boring key words.  Because in my humble opinion that actually doesn’t really help and just makes Tarot way too yawn worthy.

Any New Age Hipster worth their weight in Tarot decks is a fan girl (or boy) of 80’s sitcoms, and so today we’re going to have a little lesson in court cards via some old episodes of The Golden Girls! So grab your fave vintage Tarot deck, your beverage of choice (mine is decaf PG Tips because it tastes just like real tea without the heart palpitations) and let’s get into it!

Alrighty, let’s start with Rose. She is the cutest, sweetest, loveliest heart centred lady of the bunch. A Golden Girl with a golden heart! Her pals think she’s super blonde and ridiculous (and love her to bits anyway), but we all know she’s really just a bit woo woo. The spiritualista of the bunch, she’s gotta be the Queen of Cups!

The Queen of Cups is all about emotions and when she’s reversed OMG she’s an emotional hot mess, but upright Rose is the best friend we all want when we’re in our golden years. Someone who will always be there with a cup of coffee (or whiskey), some heart felt advice, a warm hug and she’ll even let you borrow her hot water bottle for your cold old feet.

Blanche is the feisty, flirty, fiery gal of the group which has to make her the Queen of Wands. Always up for an adventure, a hot date and never one to be put in a corner, Blanche gives even the youngest fittest yoga bunny a run for her money!

Up for anything and never one to give up on life, her friends, or herself, she’s a totally powerful woman who you definitely want on your side! We can all learn a thing or two from Blanche about standing in our power, raising our Goddess vibes and really rocking out with the feminine!

Sophia has the driest wit ever and is just hysterical. I mean, seriously laugh out loud hilarious. There are few sit com characters that make me ba-ha-ha like Sophia. She says it like it is. Whatever is the most inappropriate thing to say, she’ll say it. Without a care for anyone’s feelings or having any decorum whatsoever. Her prerogative is in speaking her truth – damn the consequences!

Obvs that makes her the Queen of Swords right? Only the Queen of Swords could get away with being that cutting. People love her for her honesty, for speaking what everyone else is thinking, but when she hits the reversed button this Queen can go a little too far and set sensitive souls like our Queen of Cups Rose into a spin.


And then There’s Dorothy. She’s busy looking after everyone, keeping the peace and paying the bills. She basically runs this mother ship and that makes her the Queen of Pentacles. Balancing the cheque book, calming Rose’s nerves, sorting out Sophia’s medication and keeping Blanche in line (well, trying to), is all in a day’s work for Dorothy.

The Queen of Pentacles is the grounded one in the deck. She looks after others, but also has some pretty good self-care stuff going on too. You never see her in a flap, burning out or burning up. She’s got her shit sorted and takes it in her stride to sort everyone else out too.

So next time you pull the Rose of Cups for “why didn’t that guy text me back?” what’s it going to mean to you? Maybe it’s about listening to your own intuition like Rose would, or perhaps you’re just being way too emotional about it and he’s just super busy!

When the Blanche of Wands comes up remember to live your life fully. Embrace adventures and jump all in! When you see the Sophia of Swords use your clever wit and brain power, and when the Dorothy of Pentacles pops up remember – you got this.

With love, light and super fun sitcom tarot lessons,



Vix is an intuitive Tarot + Angel Card Reader, Headmistress of Woo Woo School and the creator of New Age Hipster. She’s on a mission to kick open the musty old spiritual wardrobe and bring the new age into the now by making spirituality accessible to whoever wants in! Vix is an ex high school and special ed teacher, has written a tween and a YA novel and enjoys drinking tea while making Pinterest vision boards.

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