How often have you been TOLD to think positively, even when a situation is utterly shit?
Having been in an intimate relationship with anxiety for some time, I know that when you are in that ‘zone’ and someone tells you to think positively, it doesn’t make even the tiniest of difference. In fact, I think it usually makes us feel worse because we can’t simply switch on the positive vibe like other people appear to be able to, and for that we then berate ourselves. The result is actually more negativity and anxiety!
Yet, I was that person who told people to ‘stay positive’, I think I believed if I said it out loud enough, to more people, maybe I would actually start to feel the benefits myself.
I totally agree that we need to put out lovely happy vibes in order to attract what we want in life, but does that mean we can never have a negative thought, a worry, some anxiety or dare I say it… a doubt?
Why have we started to try and squash our emotions with positive thoughts and sayings? What if we really need to wallow for a while and actually feel sadness, or worries, or concerns?
For me personally I feel like I have pushed away, pushed away and pushed away a lot of fear, self doubt, anxiety and sadness throughout my life, and while I thought I had left it behind long ago, it has actually found a sneaky way of hanging out in my body.
Imagine my surprise when I realised that the feelings I thought I said farewell to by reciting a positive affirmation ten times out loud have actually been piling up on top of each other in my physical body! A lump, a blockage, an emotional constipation that simply rose up until it reached my throat and had nowhere left to go! No amount of simply taking a laxative pill could shift that baby!
It was like I became full of these feelings – because I never dealt with them. So I started allowing them out one at a time. I started to feel the fear, the uncertainty, the worries, and the discomfort. I felt it; I didn’t try and bat it back down with positivity. The more I allowed it to escape and melt away, the more ‘new’ ones came up. I won’t lie, it is overwhelming beyond belief, but gradually the blockage that was in my throat has gradually started sliding lower and lower back down within my body.
It has felt like clearing my body of a backlog of pain. I can start to think and feel more clearly again, which means I can finally step into my purpose and serve others as I have always known I had the potential to do.
It feels like the ultimate cleanse – far better than the liver, bowel and juice cleanses I have undertaken in the past! Yet definitely harder - even going without solid food for three days was less painful than this emotional detox. And I really, really LOVE food!
I know that positivity has its place and I love a good motivational quote (my Instagram is full of them) however this experience has shown me that maybe, just maybe, it is time we stopped fearing our feelings and started allowing them to do what they have come to us to do.
Lauren Barber is exploring her own self expression through conscious creativity and daring others to do the same. She brings intuition and business mentoring together to inspire and support people who are struggling to find their authentic voice and have a desire to live life on purpose. Writing, yoga and cacao are essentials in her daily routine! Check her out on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/laurensarahbarber, Twitter: https://twitter.com/laurensbarber and Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/laurensbarber/