When pop princess Britney Spears sat in that barber’s chair and took the clippers to her head, I sat and watched with my mouth hanging open. Although she had done things in the past that seemed a bit odd, including marrying a childhood friend for the grand sum of 55 hours, this erratic behaviour seemed to be beyond the pale.
Before this time, she had been the epitome of the virginal goodie two shoes, who could do no wrong. Millions of girls across the globe looked to Britney and vowed to be just like her, and parents for the most part were relatively pleased. How could you be that upset by such a squeaky clean role model? So when her behaviour seemed to take a turn for the crazy, many were shocked, including me. And yet…
Look, I’m going to hold my hands up here and reveal something to you, warts and all: there was a part of me that was secretly thrilled by it all.
Why I hear you ask? Was it the glee of seeing a revered pop idol come crashing to earth and burning spectacularly? Or maybe it was the fact that the incident made this untouchable goddess somehow more human? No. The truth of the matter was I was secretly thrilled by it all because it shined a light on my own hidden darkness.
Spiritual people in particular work so hard at staying in positivity, light and high vibrations. The mere thought of even a scrap of darkness inside them has them running away screaming.
These folk may spend hours on their meditation pillow, drink green juice all day long and have their chakras so aligned and clear that they’re practically sparkling. Retreats, workshops, countless books and courses, all just to prove how awakened they are. As though feeling any kind of negative emotion should be saved for the mere mortals; those who haven’t awoken to a more positive way of being.
What a load of utter horse shit!!
Let me tell you something, I went through my own spiritual awakening in 2010 and regularly go through my own spiritual daily practices. I journal, meditate, and connect with the angels every day, but I still swear, drink alcohol, get angry and stress so much I sometimes feel like I’m going to turn green and burst out of my top (now there’s an image for you!). Just because you are a spiritual person doesn’t make you better than anyone else, nor able to remove the shadow from the light. And I want to share something with you that may prove to be even more shocking: embracing your shadow side is a good thing.
Don’t look at me like that, I swear I’m telling you the truth! Let me explain why I feel this way.
One - to truly love yourself and be accepting of who you are, you have to embrace every part of yourself. EVERY part. It’s not good just loving the bit so you that you don’t mind showing to others. If you truly want to be whole, then you’re going to have a shine a light on the darker side of life too. We all have one, and bringing judgements to the table like it’s making us a freak is really doing us no favours. Life can be hard, and you don’t need to criticise, judge and belittle yourself; there are enough people out there to do that for you! It’s time we started being our own best friend. Look at every bit of who you are, good and bad, and say “It’s okay, it’s who I am! And do you know what? I freakin’ love all of me! I kick ass!” Because believe me, if you go out into the big world and are hiding bits of yourself from others because you somehow think they’re ‘bad’, it will be like bubbles in lemonade: they will find their way to the surface. And no one wants to watch someone they care about going full meltdown because they tried to hide from themselves.
Two- to truly step into the light of your being, you’re going to have to walk through the shadows first. How can you work through the underlying issues first if you won’t even acknowledge they’re there? And these issues can majorly get in the way of your spiritual awakening if you’re not careful. For example, for years I’ve been your chronic people pleaser. I wouldn’t do confrontation, I wanted everyone to be happy and my worst nightmare was upsetting people. When I came to see the spiritual part of myself in all its shining glory, this side of myself reared its ugly head as low self-esteem. Who was I to think I could do all this stuff? What if I upset my friends and family and they didn’t love me anymore? I was going to fail anyway, so what was the point? For the first couple of years I battled like you wouldn’t know between this negative voice inside my head and the light that was bursting out from my spirit. Every day was like going ten rounds with a heavy weight boxer; it’s was exhausting! If I had just acknowledged these issues in the first place and let them be what they are, I would’ve found it easier to be more accepting of myself and my path. If you truly want to embrace your spirituality and step into the light of your being, know that you can’t deny the shadow side of yourself; it will show up at some point. Much healthier and better all-round is if you face it head on. Grab your torch and light up the dusky corners, the cobweb covered boxes, and the scary monsters that hide inside. When you turn on the light to yourself, you may find that it’s not as scary in there as you may have thought.
So yes, I confess, I have a shadow side and I’m giving it a big loving cuddle. I urge you all to do the same today. Who knows, you may find that finding the balance between all parts of you may actually lead to greater happiness and peace of mind in the long run? Give your inner monster a big loving hug and make all of you smile!