It’s easier to be ‘spiritual’ when things are going well in your life. Taking the higher perspective and choosing to ‘see peace instead of this’. Whatever ‘this’ maybe, seems to come naturally, with minimal effort. However, the real test arises when things are a little bit, well, rocky. When you’re working with the cast of mean girls every single bloody day it’s hard to stay ‘spiritual’ and sparkly. Especially, when every part of you just wants to tell them exactly what you think of them, swiftly followed by the words ‘Fuck off’. Sound familiar?
We’ve all been there when the sweet smell of the words ‘Fuck off’ or ‘Fuck you’ are so much more appealing than ‘I forgive you’ or ‘The light in you is the light in me’. However, it’s precisely at these times when we need to be more ‘spiritual’ and take the Higher, lighter road. But, how do you resist the urge to follow the ego and react, rather than respond. Particularly, when the ego's way is so tempting and, let’s face it, a little more exciting, fun and edgy.
In this post I’ll share with you my top tips for maintaining your spiritual cool in the face of mean girls.
1. Just the way they are right now
Some people are just assholes, mean girls, jealous and low-vibe. That’s just the way they are and allow themselves to be. There’s nothing you can do about it, other than just accept it.
In my own life I used to find myself attracting jealousy in whatever workplace I was in. I used to blame myself, turn down my light and go out of my way to please the mean girls (actually, mean women). That was until I stepped back and observed the behaviour, attitude and demeanour of these women. I noticed that venom came out of their mouth on a regular basis. They always had an angry, negative and catty comment to make about almost everyone. As for those sly dirty looks and that ‘Ms attitude face’ well, they seemed to be permanent fixtures on their face. All in all, these women were just naturally mean-spirited, jealous, angry and unkind. Sadly, that’s just the way it was.
On realising this is I came to a natural place of acceptance. Followed by the realisation that this wasn’t about me, unless I made it about me in my mind. There was no need for me to people please, dull my shine or blame myself. Instead I had to learn to stand in my own power, be myself and shine.
2. Respect yourself. Protect yourself.
When you’re super-sensitive like us you feel EVERYTHING! Energetically absorbing the energy around you and soaking it up like a sponge. As I’m sure you know all too well, this is bloody exhausting. Headaches, colds, flus, sore throat, tiredness, sudden bursts of anger and low-vibeyness are all symptoms of being attacked (energetically speaking) by the energy vampires aka mean girls.
One of the key ways that I have and continue to use in order protect myself energetically are crystals. Crystals are great to work with because their energy is stable and balanced. This is in contrast to our own which is unstable, unbalanced and a bit, well, chaotic at times. By working with crystals we change all that, bringing forth balance, protection and whatever we need to remain in alignment for our Highest Good.
Key protection crystals that I choose to work with include: Black Tourmaline and Lapis Lazuli. Black Tourmaline absorbs the negative energy (cattiness, jealousy and aggression) so that you are not taking on that energy yourself. For those times when you are unsure who the real mean girls are I have found that Lapis Lazuli brings it all to light. A stone of truth, courage and protection it can also bring protection whilst empowering you to speak up and out.
3. Speak up and out.
I touched on this earlier when discussing the Lapis Lazuli crystal. But speaking out is a biggie.
In the past I have been known to internalise my feelings. Choosing not to speak out to the mean girls, confide in others who might be able to advise me or help me out. By internalising my feelings I felt like a victim and a fucking angry one at that. This made me miserable to the point that I dreaded each working day and felt powerless to do anything about the situation. Before I knew it is became as mean, grumpy and negative as the mean girls creating a vicious little angry cycle. Eventually this began to negatively impact on my self-esteem and I felt rubbish.
However, this all changed when I decided to speak up and out. In doing so I began to reclaim some of the fragments of my self that I had lost though internalising my thoughts and feelings. In the process I began to see clearly that, not only was this about their own insecurity but other people had seen their meanness too. Some had even been on the receiving end of it too. By speaking up you potentially create a team of running buddies who want to and will support you. Hopefully, this will lead to the mean girls losing their power.
When dealing with Mean Girls it’s important to affirm to yourself:
“I am not the victim. I am the lighthouse.” – Gabrielle Bernstein
My experiences of dealing with mean girls have taught me that it’s my light that is showing up their dark side for all to see. It’s also my light that causes them to feel jealous, anger or bitterness. However, it’s also my light that makes me the person that God created me to be and that light is within each and every one of us. The fact that a few mean girls are yet to see that spark of divinity within themselves does not mean that I should dim my light to make them feel better. Nor should you. As Marianne Williamson said:
“Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same.”
The thing to remember is that happy people do not feel the need to rip others to pieces, belittle them or make them feel like shit. Therefore, compassion and forgiveness will support you in staying in alignment with Divine energy. This will also help you to rise rather than retaliate or go into self-sabotage mode.
“In my defencelessness my safety lies.” – ACIM
If, like me, you find that mean girls seem to follow you around then maybe there’s a lesson that you still need to learn. From experience it’s so much easier to learn the lesson and then move forward.
“We do not meet and become involved with people as the result of some random process. Each of us generates patterns of energy that attract particular people into our lives. Try to view your relationships as “spiritual messengers” bringing to you revelations about your strengths and weaknesses, and providing valuable lessons on your path to consciousness.” – Caroline Myss
I recognised that there were wounds within me that had to be healed. The mean girls were showing me those wounds so that I could heal and expand. Once I acknowledged this is was able to go through the process with a little more grace, drawing upon all of my spiritual tools to help me.
You have all of this spiritual insight, wisdom, knowledge and tools for a reason. Use it to heal, empower yourself, shine brightly and live a life that you love.
About the contributor: Chanel provides intuitive guidance and insight to women who are ready to manifest their soul dreams into reality. She also creates intuitively handmade crystal bracelets, positively charged with Angelic Reiki energy. You can find out more about her on her website and hang out with her on Facebook, in her Facebook Group and on Instagram.