I don’t remember a day passing when horses were not in my thoughts. If you’ve ever worked with horses, you may already appreciate their spiritual teachings, which even a seasoned equestrienne finds so subtle.
Horses will basically hold a mirror to your soul. It’s so very easy to miss the cues if you’re not fully connected or not working with an experienced facilitator. You may not even recognise their teachings for weeks, months or perhaps years into your spiritual journey.
My soul, I choose you…momma
Once. I was seven years old, my momma told me… (Borrowed from the super dude lyricist Lukas Graham who I am soooo in love with…ahh. Paused in a moment of awe) that after being diagnosed with cancer as a child and losing her leg, her dad knew about #PonyPower and purchased a gipsy pony to help her recover. The day she was recalling this story to me, was years after she’d lost contact with horses, but I came along to change that! I pestered to share this passion with her, it was my first lesson in manifestation, and I took daily action to build up my pony fund, saving a mahoosive £1000 by age 13.
Did I use this opportunity wisely?
When Chips arrived I’d wanted him so much, and his stable became my haven. You see I hated school, like #LukasGraham the kids always bugged me, but daddy told us. Never listen to the ones, pointing nasty fingers, making fun (mwah Lukas, for your lyrics once more). But I did listen. Outside of his stable I felt worthless, I didn’t fit in. Even the children who owned ponies at the stables bullied me.
I changed to fit in, got mean, got even…that would show everyone I was worth something, right? My BFF at school was @DJMelodyKane who’s now ripping up her own story through mixing and laying down tunes for BBC 1Xtra. A pair of mixed up soul sisters! We just got each other, however there was always a trail of destruction in our wake. We had rows, massive rows, one horsey related one stands out about ‘Responsibility’. She wanted us to act out our next stupid idea but I had to leave to feed my horse. I remember yelling at her: “It’s my responsibility to care for him, you’ve got NO idea what that means”. We didn’t speak for weeks, which was on par throughout our friendship. I see now how well he kept me from failing off the radar.
Nah who cares I just wanna win stuff
My love for horses turned into a huge competitive streak, I watched mum reap the therapeutic and spiritual benefits, but I just wanted to win stuff, my deflated ego needed feeding.
Chips was a difficult pony, he would test you…erm, but horses are your mirror…did that make me a stroppy teenager, who challenged everyone around me? Ask my mum ;)
The higher up the ranks I went, the less I fitted in. Turning up to shows in a rusty bucket, next to horseboxes that cost the same as an average house, opened up a can of comparison worms in my brain. I let it affect the focus I needed to win. By this time the only #higherselfie I was reaching was by being part of the 90’s club scene.
Fulfilling the ego
The equestrian world has been my spiritual playground, and I’ve made a career from it navigating the politics and egos within the industry, the pinnacle or so I thought was working for the British Equestrian Federation to prepare for the 2012 legacy. At this time, life could not have been better. I was on the top of the world. I’d achieved. I’d been recognised. My ego was fulfilled, but my soul was empty.
The one who came too early
He awoke me to what could be, but alas I was not ready. Danny, so talented and grounded in the earth gave me so much confidence. But with increasing pressure at work and a new baby on the scene, we lost sync and our vibe didn’t match anymore. I didn’t have the tools to change it either, I was falling. I heard on TV an art collector describing his pieces, not as belongings, but creatures to appreciate and move on once they’d taught him as much as they could, enabling them to influence others. I knew with these words I had to sell him. Saved from my hectic life, he’s now living with an expat in Switzerland, he has the fairy tale ending I couldn’t provide. It was a huge wrench, but a great lesson in letting go.
The ballsy one who told me straight
Next came Blaze, the most beautiful pony, just like a rocking horse. With her I designed ‘MY’ ideal childhood for my daughter. She was complicated, sometimes cool as a cucumber, but when she had a meltdown she let rip…the perfect mirror into my life at the time. I was trying to juggle too many things, and periodically I would lose it. Trying to catch her in the field was impossible when I was having a mare of a day, this mare would not come near me! I thought I was being a good mum, as I poured energy into qualifying for a National competition with her, she taught me to see that I was taking over, and asked me to question the needs of my daughter. She showed me the changes I needed to make as a mother and I am forever grateful.
Connecting back to my inner child
But today I sit writing this, freshly horseless for the first time since I was 13. They’re still a big part of my life through my coaching business, which I set up to work with owners of equestrian centres to bring their business into alignment with #ponypower and increase their profits.
The horseless space I’ve deliberately created will allow me to draw in more alignment to my own business, by reconnecting to my 7 year old self where is all began. Call it market research. With the help of some wonderful friends who are equine assisted facilitators, I am still working on my energy around horses. I trust too, that when I am ready to invest my soul into the next equine partner, they will find me and take me on my next journey.
Wanna have a go?
You don’t have to own a horse to experience #ponypower, many of my clients are equine assisted facilitators. You can gain great insights in just an hour or indulge in a full retreat, horses are also a great way to bring teams together in the work environment too. Get in touch I am always happy to open my Rolodex.
About Anne: Her passion is put to good use coaching and transforming equine enterprises, drawing from her 25 years professional experience in the field...literally! She is a speaker at Rural Entrepreneur Live at NEC and is currently writing a book to help the modern day equestrian centre owner. Keep in touch with Anne via Twitter @EquestrianHQ