"Would you go on a date claiming that you are looking for real love?”
Are you laughing right now? Or maybe, smiling? Thinking that it would be THE biggest mistake to make? Here we are… In this uncomfortable truth that actually we do, ultimately, want the real Love but we are incapable of admitting it. Our generation is sexually freer than the previous one, however, we are not free to ask for love.
Love has become taboo.
With the proliferation of dating online applications, we treat dating someone with the same aspects of how we shop at the grocery store. When we don’t want him anymore, we throw him away like a vulgar tissue and we try another one and another one… At the end, we are still single but, don’t worry, we’re dating a lot! Silly us, we don’t want to date, we want to love and be loved. We want the wedding, we want to wear the white dress, we want to have children (or sometimes not and that’s okay) but for sure, we want to share our life with someone and not just our 401K, that does not warm our heart and body as a man will do.
Love has become heavy and too much to ask for. We are even ashamed and feel guilty for asking for Love and Respect. As women, we’ve had to learn to pretend to be detached from our real desire: “I want to be with someone and not only for one night.” We live in permanent anxiety and concern that our partner will abandon us the next day.
We thought, by behaving, acting and thinking like a man, we would be more respected and loved, we would be equal but as Marilyn Monroe said: “Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.” And, she was so right! Come on girls, let’s be honest here, maybe not all of us want what I’m going to write but the majority of us, we do. We want to feel protected. We want him to call us back first. We want him to “take care of us”. We want him to be the man of the situation so that we can feel more “woman”. We still have, within us, the patriarchal reflex. Despite having the same sexuality as men, we still believe in this f****** charming prince! And here is the glitch.
Love has become an uptight situation because we thought a masculine sexuality would be more fun and fulfilling. Maybe, for a few of us, it’s true but when I take a look on my clients and friends, for the majority, it’s a bitter pill. Having multiple orgasms during a one-night stand is not what we are looking for. We want multiple orgasms spanned throughout 35 years of togetherness. We want the commitment. We want the fairytale even though we know that it won’t be as smooth as Cinderella. We want it.
So, what do we do? Do we create a new revolution? A more sentimental one? A one where we can claim our desire to be loved, recognized and seen as woman? This wouldn’t be such a bad place, to be finally us, as we are…
I’m not a big fan of his, however I think his saying sums up it all… "Bitches do not exist. Girls always want to believe in true love, even when they get hooked up in the bathroom of a nightclub, they always ask for protection.” Frederic Beigbeder
Marine is an integrative coach, Family Constellations facilitator, Reiki practitioner and motivational speaker, her approach is simple: create a life of fulfillment, a life that is constantly moving in the direction of pure joy, empowerment and accomplishment. Find out more about Marine on FB https://www.facebook.com/Marine-Sélénée-369453749798789/ and at her awesome website www.marineselenee.com